


He is My World (And I Lost it)

by bbyutaeng



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 20:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18268604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbyutaeng/pseuds/bbyutaeng
Summary: Yes, you can. We can. Wait, Magnus. Wait. We can figure this out.





	He is My World (And I Lost it)

His heart was soft against his sternum.

 

It was beating… his breathing was slow.

 

His touch, still warm, as he held onto the hand that reached out to his own; the fingers he felt wrapped themselves around his smaller hand, it was grasping his fingers tightly—as if it was desperately clinging onto him.

 

To make him stay.

 

To _make_ him _stay_.

 

But that was it, was it not? He was slipping. The magic that was foreign to his system was coursing through his veins. He was warned that Lorenzo’s magic was not going to be accustomed to his body. He was warned there would be consequences—he ignored them. For anything, anyone… he ignored them. He no longer felt powerful or _needed_ without his magic. He begged Alec to understand. He begged the man to see that Magnus was not suited to be a _mundane_.

 

Centuries did he live. None of them were lived as a mundane.

 

But the pain. The _pain_. It was enough for him to scream out in a language he hadn’t spoken in… how many years? How many years had he spoken in _Bahasa_? That was how painful it was. For him to break his strong façade, for him to break his walls down further and directly in front of his Dear?

 

It was _enough_ , Magnus realised.

 

He saw himself there. Laying in bed. Completely immobile. He saw the emotion on Alec’s face; he saw _nothing_. An unreadable shadow loomed over his face as the taller male sat by his comatose state. Though, that hand was tight around his; it was slowly going slack as he watched Catarina enter the room with an expression Magnus knew—it was nothing good.

 

_Magnus’ body is rejecting Lorenzo’s magic._

 

Now the expression returned to his beloved’s face; it was of an anger Magnus very well knew Alec was capable of showing off. To be frank, Magnus did like seeing that side of his Dear Alec because it was absolutely adorable. Except… for that time. If the Shadowhunter had magic, the Institute would be non=existent and would be in flames.

 

_I’m not going to let this son of a bitch get away with it._

 

_Alec…_

 

 _You do not understand, Catarina._ Never had Magnus seen tears in Alec’s eyes. _Magnus is my world. And if he dies, I swear I will—_

 

 _Then go._ Catarina was near emotionless. _Do whatever you need to do._

 

When Alec was gone… when Catarina left… the Warlock was alone for the longest time; his soul…or rather, his consciousness was finally sitting by his body’s side. Magnus… never felt so vulnerable. He felt so cold, so worthless. He could not leave without killing himself; he forced himself to rip consciousness from the body. Even in a comatose state did his mind work magic. Even in a comatose state did his body still scream for the pain to stop.

 

Other than occasional check-ups by Catarina… nothing happened; nothing changed.

 

“Magnus.”

 

Except for sudden chill in the air—he knew that voice, and he hated that voice; the Warlock turned his attention to where he hard that ungodly sound. His eyes met his for a second and from brown, warm eyes… a bright orange cat-like magic swept over them like a wave.

 

“Lorenzo.”

 

He heard said Warlock release a very dark chuckle as his body was against the doorframe; his arms were folded against his chest. Was he, too, a spirit? Or was it his actual body?

 

“Was my magic too much for you, Bane? That you happened to separate yourself from your body?” The much, much younger Warlock asked as the annoying sneer stuck to his lips. “You are making it seem your body is dying—“

 

“That is because it is.” He said, interjecting with a notion to shut Lorenzo up. His eyes were like a cat’s, though no longer the pristine pale yellow but now a warm orange. He was _angry_. Angry because Warlocks were able to accommodate magic— _any_ magic. Any foreign magic, Warlocks were half-human; they had the ability to use any magic without problems. “ _You_ made me like this; you dared to lie to _me_. You dare put a destructive seal in _my_ body, and for what? Is your new life not enough?!”

 

His anger caused a seizure.

 

Shadowhunters poured into the room; right then, did he realise, Lorenzo did remove his consciousness from his body. Magnus was so close to killing him but when he saw Alec—his heart jumped in his chest. Anger was not its doing; did Alec… do something without knowing? Most likely: Alec may be of strategy but he was able to attack or even speak without thinking.

 

“What did you do to him?”

 

“I only did kick him out of my _home_. He was being irrational, and I just wanted to remind him who he was at that time—“

 

_Magnus! Stay with me!_

 

He was dying, was he not? Magic was coursing through his veins much, much faster. Magnus watched as his body was turning a horrid blue from the lack of oxygen; from the like of warmth that his beloved was desperately trying to share. His heartbeat was a thunderstorm; machines were off the charts. What kind of death was that?

 

“I swear if you hurt him—“

 

“I did not,” Lorenzo cut through his sentence, walking into the room with the same horrendous sneer on that face of his. “You can clearly see that Alec is absolutely fine. I just happened to speed up the process.”

 

“Why?” Magnus asked, his hands by his side clenching to form fists. “What does my death mean to you?”

 

The chuckle was as dark as the deepest pits of Edom could be. It was as cold and harsh as a blizzard. It was as inhumane any Demon would be. “I just want you gone from my sight; I just want your presence to be erased. Do you know how difficult it was to win the other Warlocks’ vote? The power you have, Magnus—I wanted it. And now, with you gone… I finally _have_ it.”

 

The sounds in the room died right then. Magnus could no longer hear the frantic cries to come back; he could no longer hear Lorenzo’s voice. He could no longer hear his own heart. How could any Warlock… want to be around him? How could any Warlock stay sane with the thought of a… _man_ like him standing so high upon his throne?

 

Magnus, in his anger, did not realise what he had conjured with the very same magic that was trying to eat him inside-out.

 

Though, the very next thing he realised was—

 

Alec was staring at him.

 

Those beautiful eyes did he finally come to see; his vision clouded—the hug he was enveloped in was as warm as he knew it was. Those arms wrapped around his frame in a hold he thought he never could be within. The smell of the Indian Sandalwood he started to brew back in the 18th century was _everything_. When Alec pulled away did Magnus ask everyone to leave; he saw the hesitation in Isabella’s eyes—in Clary’s eyes, but all of them left. He watched as Alec moved… but the Warlock did not make him move any further than an inch.

 

“Alexander.” He spoke. “I…” the pause was enough to make the hair on his nape stand. “I killed Lorenzo.”

 

Another deadly pause. “He was here. The seizure—I.”

 

The silence was still enough to kill. “I don’t have much time.”

 

“Magnus. No, no—“

 

“I can’t stay. We... aren't meant—”

 

_Please._

 

“Yes, you can. We can. Wait, Magnus. Wait—we can figure this out.”

 

_Don’t make this harder than it already is._

 

That silence… was enough to make one shake in a fear he thought he would never have to experience. Was life out to get him for betraying it? Was history really going to replay once more with his knowledge? Was he really…

 

Going to go through it…

 

_I can no longer feel… anything._

 

One last time?

 

So be it.

 

As the warm orange in his eyes started to die did his heart started to strain against his breathing. Long, slow breaths turned into choppy wheezes. His hands no longer had the strength to hold Alec in place; his eyes no longer had the vision to see his beloved. His skin no longer had the warmth Alec was willingly sharing with him.

 

“You once asked me what I was afraid of.” His voice wavered. “It’s this.”

 

_Having to die before you do… is something I fear._

 

When one takes their last breath…

 

_I love you… so much._

 

When he took his last breath…

 

His world was dragged to the depths of Edom.


End file.
